she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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