is wine microwaveable?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
