Well apparently he's into motor boating.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
