my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fuck appropriateness.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
