is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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