I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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