the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
