idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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