I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
