He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
