Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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