We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
