Duck Duck Cougar?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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