I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
