help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
