He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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