Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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