if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
