Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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