It's Friday. Sex?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
