The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
