Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
