Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
