1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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