She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
