I'm really into asian looking animals
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
