I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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