the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
