Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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