we're blogging at a bar
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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