And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
