Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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