god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
