We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
