what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm at about main and main street
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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