I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
