Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
