how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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