Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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