and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
