i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
