you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
