Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we should paint friendship bongs
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