Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
