i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so let's talk penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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