between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You made out with two different species that night
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
