I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
