Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
