Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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