okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
