I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
