brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
