the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
