What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
ok first of all what the fuck
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
