Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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